Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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