I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
