could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well you can't waste a boner
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
