Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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