We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
