Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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