Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize