remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
