you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
