like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Two words: nipple clamps
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