I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
love makes seman taste better
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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