Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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