Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
