Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
