I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
