yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
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