Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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