when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
