I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
