No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
