Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
