she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
