If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
