somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
