so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
