If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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