did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
