she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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