I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
