question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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