i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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