You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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