I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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