Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
