part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
