i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
