so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this beer tastes like vomit already
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
