I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
