I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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