Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
