every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
