im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
