She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
