I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
