you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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