So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize