you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
