Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
