4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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