Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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