I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
