32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
