Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
