How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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