Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
