So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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