Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We're too hungover to prance.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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