there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize