I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
