No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i think i just lost a toe
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
