Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
