She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize