Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
