Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize