I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
