And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
