do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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