so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize