Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My pussy is not your playground.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
