Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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