i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My ass is underappreciated
Dicks are not precious.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
