that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize