I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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