Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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