Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
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