You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
