Porn is love you can see.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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