Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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