i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
