and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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