There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
