Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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