can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
